Annie and I were at the beginning of her first EFT session the other day when she suddenly became uncomfortable with the process. As we started deep diving into her negative emotions, she started to freeze up, and asked:
“If you believe that affirmations work, then WHY would you have me say negative statements right now? I feel as though I am affirming something bad to happen and adding power to my already bad feelings!”
This is such a great question!
During the EFT basic recipe, meaning the process by which we say HOW we actually feel and tap on specific endpoints of energy meridians on the body, we generally start with acknowledging exactly where we are and how we really feel, which in most cases, addresses a negative feeling.
For example, let’s say you are anxious about finances. When you look at your bank statement, if the amount you see is less than where you want to be, it will automatically activate a stress response. You might feel scared, uneasy and anxious, especially if you don’t have a solution as to how you will make and save more money. You certainly can begin saying affirmations, however, IF you are anxious about money and you are saying statements such as “ money comes to me easily, my income is constantly increasing or I am financially stable”, you won’t be able to believe in the possibility of your affirmations, because you are already focused on your lack of money in the first place… you will first want to address any negative beliefs about money, your worthiness around money and any past negative experiences regarding money and finances. After you have worked through your negative emotions, affirmations can take hold.
Affirmations work best when you are already feeling positive.
EFT works best when you allow yourself to fully FEEL what is causing you discomfort. Affirmations will be way more powerful when you’ve addressed and processed the emotional triggers, trauma and upsetting memories first.
The words we use are far less important than addressing the “feelings” that we are feeling… like I said before , you can affirm all you want, but if you are feeling negative emotion while you are saying them, THAT is what needs to be dealt with first, it they won’t take hold. Another thing I would like to mention here is that words can have very different feelings associated with them because people have had different life experiences and then label those experiences with “words”.
So while one person my have a neutral response to a word, another may experience an “uh oh” response when it is thought of or spoken. Bottom line is that the way you feel and your beliefs about a particular subject or problem in your life is what needs to be worked through and reprogrammed.
As Annie and I worked together, she allowed herself to fully feel what was disrupting her ability to feel happy. Without any judgement about herself, we went into old memories and old beliefs that were still causing her to think and behave in certain ways. We addressed her current reason for working with me. She then shifted to a place where she could no longer locate her anxiety, and instead felt calm and balanced. She went from the struggle is real to the SHIFT is real! By “shift” I mean going from feeling negative emotion to feeling NO emotion or positive emotion. The shift is what sets you free…
We THEN started affirming new possibility, expectation and hopefulness. She was open to receiving positive momentum and the shift took her much higher than she had expected upon coming in. She processed her emotional triggers, let go of the old beliefs and was able to feel excitement as she affirmed how her life would feel going forward.
You can’t hide from the way you feel… you can stuff it down, because it will always seep out in unexpected places and usually at the world possible times! You can ignore it, but when it’s time to let old patterns go- they can sometimes get louder until you open up to your own personal and spiritual growth, and deal with the obvious. Feeling is a part of being alive. The good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful. We are meant to feel it ALL. We aren’t here to experience continuous bliss, but we don’t have to stay in the mud either. We are meant to learn, grow and share our gifts with the world, so that we can help others do the same!