There was a period in my life when I was literally haunted with thoughts of un-forgiveness towards myself. I would sabotage relationships instead of just speaking my truth and stepping out of them. There were a couple of times that I came UNGLUED and yelled at my son instead of just taking a few deep breaths. There was a period of my life where I ran… from everything. I ran from my problems, from myself, from the growth that instinctively knew needed to happen…
I would stuff my anger down and distract myself in anyway that I could. I would allow fear to take over instead of trusting. I resented people in my life that treated me unjustly and kept myself locked in a mental prison. The worst of it was that I beat myself up over and over with my thoughts towards myself about the mistakes that I thought I had made.
“I will never get it right. I don’t deserve to be loved. I am a failure… again”
I found myself in my early 30’s, learning one of the biggest life lessons that I would ever learn, which is the art of letting go. Letting go of expectation from myself and others. Letting go of hurts that people had caused me and that I had caused others. Letting go of negative thought patterns that were played on repeat. I knew that change would have to start within myself. I had to learn to love, appreciate and forgive myself, or I would stay stuck in that cycle.
We will only ever be as free as we feel. If you truly want to experience emotional freedom, you MUST forgive not only others, but more importantly, yourself.
Un-forgiveness handcuffs us to the past. It keeps us stuck in the emotional cycles of regret, sadness, hurt, fear, guilt, blame, anger, resentment, or sometimes even a desire for revenge.
One of the most common issues that I come across in my coaching business is people’s unwillingness to forgive themselves. I recognize it quickly. It’s like a virus to their happiness and it is RELENTLESS until they recognize what they are doing.
And – it doesn’t matter how deep you go, how much you feel you have messed up or how much water is under the bridge. Self -forgiveness is medicine for the emotional destruction that we cause ourselves.
So how do we forgive ourselves?
You can start with a simple intention to open your heart. You are always the safest when your heart is open and you are coming from a place of love. Just the willingness to forgive can be a powerful process.
When I began to forgive myself for my own perceived mistakes, everything changed. My relationships began to have a different dynamic. I believed that I was deserving of love. My relationship with my son changed. He showed up softer and more appreciative. My relationship with MYSELF changed. I began to trust my decisions and wrap myself in love.
Bottom line – forgiveness equals freedom
There is no better time than NOW to let go…